The First Time
by hexterah
Summary: This story takes place after the LotF series and features Tenel Ka & Zekk. Zekk ends up on Hapes after a request from Luke Skywalker and he and the Queen Mother find themselves spending more time together than planned, thanks to Caedus. Started: 01/03/08
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **I got this idea around the time _Legacy of the Force: Revelation_ was about a month away from being released ( hey look, my prologue matches the series : ). I had pretty much accepted the idea that the series would end how it did (total cop out on what they did with Jacen at the end -- and the Solos seem like a big family full of _absolute fail_ now – _all of them_) and I debated on something happening between Zekk and Tenel Ka (who both have done so much for said _family of fail_ and got pretty much nothing for it). I've done this before (see _Past Fading_) – but this, plus the fun addition of a vengeful Caedus… I just had to write this story. So yeah, expect more chapters on this one in the near future!

* * *

**PROLOGUE --**

It was the first time she had seen him this lost.

The ship was silent except for the low hum of the generators. There were usually crew members and officers crawling all over the bridge. But not at this moment. Not anymore.

She stood staring into his eyes, the eyes that used to match hers in their intensity and their wisdom. His had flared from a brown to a red, orange flecks permeating the sea of crimson that made up his iris. She twitched, almost springing forward for a thrust or a slash.

Darth Caedus didn't move at all, except his lips, which formed a question.

"What is it you want?"

"I want you dead."

He seemed to smile, although his lips upturned into a thin crescent that formed a sarcastic sneer. It was so far from the grin she used to see on her twin brother. She suppressed a shudder, her sweaty fingers tightening around the handle of her lightsaber.

"Oh, dear sister," he said. His lightsaber, the blade matching his eyes, was being twirled stylishly -- almost lazily -- around in his grasp, from one gloved hand to the other. Back and forth. His gaze never left hers. "You're not even going to try to save _Jacen_?" The name came from his lips in a hiss, like it burned his tongue to say it.

"Jacen's dead."

A whoop of amusement surfaced from Darth Caedus as he let the lightsaber fall into his right hand where he brought the blade down beside him. "You're a smart little mynock, aren't you?"

Jaina Solo could only smirk back at him, her mind debating on the perfect time to strike. What he did next though caught her off guard. And she wasn't a big fan of being caught off guard.

Caedus dropped the handle of his lightsaber to the ground, the weapon rolling across the dull durasteel of the ships main cabin, casting a red halo around it as it moved. He began to circle her like a nexu circling it's prey, his hands clasped behind his back and his boots echoing loudly on the bridge of the deserted Star Destroyer.

"Did you want to achieve something, _sis_? Live up to the Solo name finally? Hold your own _for once_?" He nodded, tilting his head to the side, his eyes locked on her visage. He looked completely relaxed as he paced around her, except for his face. His lips were pursed, fading from a sneer to a frown and back, while his eyes were sharp and calculating. "That's understandable. I guess it's _your_ turn to finally _do_ something."

Stopping in front of the _Anakin Solo_'s oversized viewport, Caedus turned to her and held his hands out to his sides. "I'm giving you this fight."

"Pick up your weapon. I'm not letting it end this way."

"Either I continue to live and continue with what you're trying to stop, or you kill me now, Jaina."

"Pick up the damn lightsaber."

He shook his head, along with his right pointer finger. Back and forth. He could sense the rage bubbling up inside of her and he embraced it, that shadow of a smile crossing his face yet again. He could feel her growing more and more ready to slash him down with no second thought. That was _what he wanted_. Approaching her slowly, he held his hands out to her, to show that he wasn't going to do anything drastic. She tensed, but stayed still, letting him shift up to her, letting him put his gloved hands on her cheeks. She was ready to throw him off, ready to twist the lightsaber into his neck -- she had the perfect opportunity at this exact moment in time. But she had to admit a small part of her was curious about just what the kriff he was doing.

Darth Caedus seemed to pull Jaina closer to him, in one last unsettling embrace, his lips shifting over her left ear.

"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

He lingered for a moment before pulling back from her and holding his arms out to the side once more. "Go on. I know this is what you want." He provoked her with his eyes, with his hands, with his _mind_. "I know this is what you _need_. Save the galaxy from me, be a hero."

She hadn't believed his words, the ones about him becoming powerful after death. In fact, she laughed inwardly at them. And they rang in her ears as she drew her lightsaber back and let the blue-violet blade drive itself into the man that was once her twin brother.


	2. Chapter One

**CHAPTER ONE --**

He wasn't sure why he was hesitating when he stepped up to the door, his fist hovering in front of the durasteel barrier. With a sharp inhale, he rapped his knuckles against it and waited momentarily.

"Who is it?" A female voice called.

"Zekk."

Moments seemed to drag by before the door slid back into the wall and the face of Jaina Solo appeared, her lips thinned and her eyes slightly narrowed. Zekk knew that look. He had seen it many times before.

"What?"

"Can I come in?"

She did nothing to mask the annoyed sigh that passed through her lips as she backed away from the open door. Sliding into her quarters, he shut the door behind him, trying to ignore her sudden flare of attitude. He watched her rummage through her drawers and then let his eyes lift to the window past her. Maybe if he gave her a few seconds before he spoke, she would calm down.

The sun was setting over Coruscant and the beams were lazily tossed around Jaina Solo's quarters on the northern side of the Jedi Temple -- the lanes of passing hover traffic causing nonstop movement outside her window. Zekk, in his own quarters, had a nice view of the Entertainment District, the neons and flashing lights seeping into his room at night. Jaina had a view of the closest spaceport and Zekk wasn't jealous of it at all. She got to hear ships coming and going at all hours of the night. Zekk just got to close his curtains and he would have instant peace and quiet.

_Maybe that's she's in such a bad mood -- no sleep._

"Are you here to give me one of your morality speeches?" She slammed a drawer shut and moved to the next, digging through stacks of garments.

_No, there it is._

He crossed his arms over his chest and cocked a hip. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I killed my brother -- well, the monster that once called himself that -- and I haven't heard a single word from you about it. It's been six days." She found whatever she was looking for and threw it on the bed on the heap of clothes already there and then headed towards the desk he was standing beside, grabbing a datapad off of it.

Zekk eyed her carefully, biting his tongue at the sudden flood of things he wanted to say. There was too much that he was trying to hold in though and some managed to make their annoyed escape. "Is that what you want, Jaina? Because I can definitely give that to you." He reached out and placed a palm over the datapad screen, pulling the device down from her face, causing her to look at him. "Why didn't you try to save him?"

"You saw what he had become. He had to be stopped. He was completely consumed by the Dark Side!" She threw her arms up in the air, like they had argued this point a billion times before.

"You saved me from that exact thing."

"Yeah, well people change."

"So now you're saying you've changed to the point where you're too good to even _attempt_ to save your own family member -- your own _twin brother_ -- from the Dark Side?"

She didn't even bother to answer the question; she just ripped the datapad out of his grasp and began to pace back towards her bed. "Are you done now?"

Zekk felt himself close his eyes, and he could feel himself subconsciously trying to run through every calming technique he had _ever_ learned from Master Skywalker. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his pants, clenching and relaxing his fists, trying to shove all the negative energy from his system. He got like this every once in awhile, but Jaina was never really the cause of it. Now though, right now was a different story.

She finally turned to look up at him, tilting the top of the datapad towards the door and repeating her question. "Are you done now? If you're done I'd like you to excuse me. I have a date tonight."

"_Nice_," he replied flatly, trying to keep the sarcasm from his voice and failing -- most likely on purpose.

She continued to ignore him, her jaw set and her hands back absently shifting through the pile of clothes on the bed.

He finally felt himself calm enough to a point where he could speak again, although the words that came out were anything but that. "Well, I hope you're happy now, Jaina. Your niece doesn't have a father anymore."

She flinched momentarily -- Zekk knew he wasn't supposed to catch it, but of course he caught it. He knew her. He knew that hit her right where it should have.

"Enjoy your _date_," he said, spinning on a heel and slamming his palm into the panel by the door. Seconds later it slid open and Zekk left Jaina's room, leaving her in a shuddering mass of sudden depression and rage.

* * *

Zekk had dozed off in his bed, the holoscreen across the room running news -- stories about the end of the war, stories about death, birth, life. He was too busy sleeping to hear them, sprawled out on his stomach, the neons from the Entertainment District outside drifting in and bathing him in pinks and violets. He turned over as the monotony of the room was broken by a knock on the door and picked his head up, blowing black hair out of his face. Zekk had shifted so quickly that the sheets he was tangled in pulled him to the floor, where he landed on his tailbone with a thud.

He growled and pulled himself to his feet, shaking his legs to get the sheets unwrapped and then leaned over the bed and picked up the shirt he had thrown there before he fell asleep. Pulling it over his head as he stumbled to the door, he attempted to wake up, blinking his eyes furiously and punching at the panel to open the door.

"Good evening, Zekk," a voice said, holding back a polite chuckle.

Finally getting his head through the hole in the top of the shirt, Zekk pasted a smile on his face, "Master Skywalker! How nice of you to drop by." He slammed a hand on his hip and threw the other arm up against the doorframe, trying to appear casual and welcoming.

"Are you busy?"

Zekk turned his head, shooting a glance to his disheveled bed, as if he was actually considering the answer yes.

"No, no of course not. What's up?"

"I came here to ask you about a favor."

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if you'd be able to accompany Cae--" Luke Skywalker stopped and closed his eyes momentarily, collecting his composure and opening them once more. He lowered his voice slightly. "I was wondering if you'd be able to accompany Jacen's body to Hapes."

"Hapes? The Solo's aren't doing anything with it?" Zekk realized the phrase "doing anything with it" sounded very cold and impolite, but he wasn't sure how else to word the question.

"They were going to say their goodbyes and take care of it, but they thought Tenel Ka should have that honor, the last goodbye. If you want to call it that. She..." Skywalker stopped again, this time he inhaled deeply, letting the breath out in a tired sigh. "She stuck with him the longest."

"And they weren't at the funeral here a couple days ago..."

"No, the Queen Mother and Allana couldn't make it."

Zekk nodded.

"Lowbacca was heading back to Kashyyyk and offered to take the body there, but he only has the time to drop it off. I was wondering if you could go with him and disembark at Hapes, to make sure it gets to Tenel Ka herself. Who knows what the Hapans would do to it if they got their hands on him... it." Luke seemed to frown, but quickly masked the expression.

Before he even thought about his answer, Zekk nodded again. "Of course I can."

"Thank you very much, this means a lot to Tenel Ka -- to myself also. And I know it means a lot to Han and Leia. Ben as well."

Zekk noted the absence of Jaina's name and wasn't surprised in the least. "No problem."

"I'll let Lowbacca know and he'll contact you with the details. I believe you'll be leaving sometime tomorrow, in the afternoon."

"Thank you, Master Skywalker."

Luke nodded his head and bowed slightly before turning and retreating down the corridor. Zekk watched him until he vanished around the corner, back towards the main hall, then he pulled himself back into his room and shut the door. He stood there for a moment, back against the wall, and let his eyes drift to the heap of sheets on his bed.

Delivering Jacen Solo's dead body to Hapes.

Maybe he should've just stayed in bed.

With a sigh, he moved deeper into his quarters, preparing to find his bag to pack but stopped when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror near his bed. He had put his shirt on backwards and inside out -- and just finished talking to the Grand Master of the Jedi Order.

"Oh yeah, good one, Zekk." Mumbling to himself, he pulled his travel bag out from under the bed and opened it.

His eyes were locked on the holoscreen as he stood at his old wooden chest of drawers, opening each one and tossing items of clothing he would need behind his back, hoping they landed somewhere near his bag. He watched a story about a pet acklay who found his way home after six standard years and another news story about a wampa who learned to speak basic before he finally turned back to his bed and frowned. All the clothes he needed were now out, but they were strewn from the door to his refresher, all the way across the bed, and over to the window where the neon lights were flooding in.

"Of course," he murmured, scowling.

He fell asleep halfway through packing and woke up the next morning to a message left by Lowbacca and about a standard half an hour to finish packing and get ready. That was fine. Zekk worked well under pressure.

* * *

"Tell Tenel Ka we said hey -- and we hope she's doing okay. Allana too." Han seemed tired, his eyes were bloodshot and there were visible bags under them. "Tell her we're always here for them and we'll comm them very soon."

"Yes, sir."

Leia wrapped him up in a hug, throwing her arms around his neck and patting his back. She had questioned Zekk in the past, many times, over many things and only when Han told her to step back and look at everything he had done over the years did she realize how important an aspect he was to her relatives and friends. "Thank you so much, Zekk. You've always been there for our family. If there's anything we can ever do for you, let us know."

She pulled back, both of them still holding onto each other, and he could see her eyes were the same as Han's. He involuntarily clutched her upper arms at the sight, trying to comfort her, not knowing how she was able to keep pushing through all of this. Chewbacca, then Anakin, now Jacen. The Solos had enough. Pulling his hands down to hers, he gave her fingers a quick squeeze before backing up the ramp of the ship and waving solemnly to Han and Leia.

"You're welcome, and I will. Thanks." At thirty-three, Zekk thought he wasn't capable of blushing anymore. But he could feel his cheeks flushing the slightest bit.

The Solos watched him board the ship and Han's mind was ticking off where Zekk was. He knew Zekk was going to see Tenel Ka, who was on Hapes, and they had seen Tahiri on the way to the hangar. He had no idea where Jaina was. But here he was making sure he knew where all of his kids were -- even though three of them weren't really his children at all. Leia seemed to pick up on his thoughts.

"Han..."

"Hmmm?" His eyes were still locked on the ship and he watched the ramp pull back and the hatch shut.

"If we had Tahiri, Tenel Ka and Zekk as our own children, would they have turned out the same way?"

Han felt himself swallow a mouthful of dry air, his thoughts whirring at the fact that their three children were lost to them now. Their boys were dead and their little girl was grown up and ignoring almost everyone, including them, in her sudden bouts of grief and anger. And their kids' closest friends, that Han and Leia looked at like children of their own at times, the three of them were alive and doing quite well for themselves. Tahiri was training to become a Jedi master, Zekk was as well and also heading up the Orpheus Squadron and Tenel Ka was the Queen Mother of Hapes with a beautiful daughter of her own. Their granddaughter.

He hugged his wife into his chest, her tears -- which he thought were all dry by now -- soaking through his shirt. "Don't think about things like that, sweetheart."


End file.
